Remembering...
by angel13
Summary: "It wasn't so long ago..." Thomas remembers the people that meant more to him than anything. Until he chose Hitler over the love of his life.
1. "Like some sort of angel."

"Remembering "  
by Carrie  
  
(Author's note--I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. Let's just see where all the typing takes me..swing heil everybody!)  
  
(ps-This is Thomas' point of view...for now anyway...)  
  
Peter and I walked into the club, ready for another night of dancing. I put my coat down at the table, nodding hello to Otto and Arvid.   
  
"Hmm, whom shall the lucky girl be tonight, Thomas?" Peter grinned, making fun of the way I surveyed the girls. Peter....oh Peter. It wasn't so long ago...  
  
"You just wait. I'll find a real peach." He rolled his eyes.  
  
"Peach? Haven't heard that one before." Otto put his cigarette down, referring to my American slang.  
  
"A peach is like...a real looker." Arvid tried to translate.  
  
"Looker!? Like a hooker?" Otto's eyes were wide now.  
  
"No! Do I have to explain *everything*?" Arvid sighed. Peter and I laughed, then headed out to find lookers. *Not* hookers....  
  
Peter found Helga Schlettz and they started dancing like there was no tommorow. Where were all the regular girls? There was practically no one left to dance with. And I certainly was not going to go back and sit with Arvid and Otto. Yeah, Arvid would just love it if I couldn't find anyone to dance with. He's smirk and hand me some sarcastic comment. He doesn't like me, never really has. Arvid knew Peter long before I ever came along and...well let's just say he's got issues with letting go. Honestly. He can't cope if Peter and I do anything without him.  
  
Then...I saw her. Her short brown hair framed a pretty face with deep blue eyes. She had on a white dress. She looked like some sort of angel. The girl saw me in that same instant, and I could tell by the look in her eyes she was amazed, confused and in love all at the same time. Just like I was. In a daze, I walked up to her.  
  
"Wanna dance?"  
  
The girl watched me for a second with her blue eyes studying me intently. The look said "What is he really saying?"  
  
"Okay." She agreed. She was so sophisticated, so beautiful and so complex a person. And yet somehow, I already knew that.  
  
She was the one.  
  
The song was fast. We started jitterbugging. The music speeded up with more intensity every second. Faster and faster I spun her around, and we finsihed with an aerial. I was out of breath, so was she.   
  
She was smiling ecstatically now "My name's Serena. What's yours?"  
  
"Thomas."  
  
"Thomas." She repeated thoughtfully.  
  
Ahh, I had never loved hearing my name more.  
  



	2. Walking her home

"I'm walkin' Serena home, okay Peter?"  
  
Peter gave me a look "Since when do you walk girls home? If I remember correctly, you were the one that said 'I just dance with 'em, and don't get involved.' ...Am I right?" He headed for the door. "See you tommorow. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Peter called over his shoulder, grinning.   
  
I turned to see Serena next to me. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly.  
  
"Well, let's go." I took her hand as we headed for the door. It had just stopped raining, so the air was cool and the pavement was wet. We walked slowly. God, if only that walk had lasted longer...  
  
"So..." I tactfully tried to start a conversation.  
  
"Ummmm....yeah....." Serena looked up and laughed. "Sorry, I guess I don't have a lot to say either."  
  
We silently walked on for a few minutes.  
  
"Tell me about yourself."   
  
"Okay. My name's Serena. I'm seventeen years old and I like American movies and music and clothing."  
  
"Well, I'm just about the same, except my name's Thomas, not Serena." I smiled as she laughed softly. She was beautiful, no question about it.  
  
"We're here." She pointed to the doorway in front of us.  
  
"Will I see you again soon?" I reached out for her hand, but she didn't see.  
  
"I hope so..." Serena looked up at the house, "My parents...they love me but are a little worried about me going out at night." She sat down on the stone step, and bit her nails a little. "But I hope....I know....once they see what a gentleman you are, they won't worry anymore." Serena smiled up at me. I can still see her face, glowing and beautiful, in the midst of the dark night.  
  
"Tommorow then? I'll come for you. At six." I whispered, taking her hand and helping her stand.  
  
Serena nodded. "I'll wait right here."   
  
I kissed her hand. "Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight Thomas."  
  
The walk home wasn't as cold. The night wasn't as dark either...  
  
***  
((Author's note--Well, whaddya think? This is unfinished. I'll add more soon. Thanx 4 reading!!)) 


	3. "Deep blue-"

((Author's note--This next scene takes place at the HJ school. It's just BEFORE Thomas went over to the dark side...))  
  
***  
"So--did you enjoy your 'walk' with Serena? Because I'm so sure all it was was walking, right?" Peter teased, although a little sarcastically.  
  
"Shove it Pete. Nothing happened. But..." I trailed off to add a little suspense.  
  
"But what?"  
  
"I'm meeting her tommorow."  
  
Peter shrugged. "Sounds good. She was pretty enough."  
  
"Pretty enough? The girl's a goddess." I sighed.  
  
Peter stopped, eyeing me warily. I gave him a look and he glanced down, pretending to fix his the books in his hands.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" I asked, a little annoyed.  
  
"Oh, nothing," He still didn't look up, "It's just that one minute, you're all business and making fun of the HJs, then you're falling all over some blue eyes."  
  
"Oh, so now it's wrong for me to like a girl?" I asked sarcastically.  
  
"Like a girl!? Ever since seven o'clock last night, you've been a lovesick puppy. You haven't even known her 24 hours! All you know is that her name's Serena, age seventeen, loves swing and has pale blue eyes-"  
  
"Deep blue-" I interrupted.  
  
Peter threw up his hands "My point exactly. You. Are. Obsessed."  
  
I shrugged, and kept walking. Peter soon caught up.   
  
"Does she know?"  
  
"Know what?" I asked cooly, not turning to look at him. I wasn't obsessed...exactly...  
  
"That you-we're..HJs?" Peter asked softly. That stupid swatstika.  
  
"I'll just tell her the truth. That it's just a cover. Serena'll believe me..."  
  
***  
As the classroom lights dimmed, the newsreel began to play. It showed our Fuhrer speaking. Man, that guy really knew how to hold an audience. And what he was saying made sense...Whoa. I smacked my head slightly. "Being an HJ is just a cover, remember Thomas?" I said silently to myself, "Don't get involved. Don't watch. Don't listen..." I closed my eyes and tried to block out the sound. But the Fuhrer's voice echoed in my mind anyway  
  
"Do this for the Fatherland... All German peoples must unite... the Aryans will be the superior race...Germany will again rise, but this time, with world domination!" 


	4. "I believe you."

  
--six o'clock that evening--  
  
As I crossed the bridge that led to Serena's house, I felt nervous. Besides the fact that I still had the HJ uniform on, complete with swatstika armband, people were giving me looks and crossing to the other side of the street.  
  
"That's right, cross the street," I muttered to myself, "Consider me scum, because that's how I feel. I don't like me being a damned Nazi anymore than you like it."  
  
Maybe I'd get lucky and Serena's family would be the forever-loyal to Hitler type. Then she'd be proud to be an HJ's girlfriend. Creepy. And yet, there really *were* people like that.  
  
"No one who likes swing can be a Nazi..." As much as I despised Arvid, those words were immortal and absolutely true.  
  
"Yeah, but you're a Nazi." my conscience reminded me.  
  
"NO!" I screamed out in my mind, "Not a true Nazi. It's just a cover, I sware. I'm not a Nazi."  
  
"No," I thought, "Not yet..." I shivered. Serena stood up and walked over to hug me. But she stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
"Oh man..." I could just see the look on her face.  
  
"Hi Serena."   
  
She stepped back, warily.  
  
"Thomas...you...you're a--"  
  
"No, I know what you're thinking but it's not like that. You see--" I sighed heavily and sat down on her front step. Serena joined me. "Peter and I--we had to join. As a cover. You know, HJ by day, and Swing kid by night. I promise. And I'd never lie to you Serena." I looked deep into her eyes. I still remember that single instant, when I got lost in her eyes, right there on the door step."  
  
She too got lost in my eyes, then slowly smiled. "I believe you." Serena collapsed into my arms.  
  
I didn't want that moment to end. But it did.  
  
All good things eventually do.  



	5. "Those damn HJs..."

Serena and I walked along, talking casually. I'll always remember those liquid blue eyes, sparkling amidst the silky strands of chocolate brown hair. Her whole face would light up when she laughed or even just listened. The eyes....her eyes were so electrifying. Serena's every movement was graceful. Or maybe it wasn't. I'm not so sure now. I was in such awe of her, it was hard to see her downfalls.  
  
"Have you had many girlfriends before? I've seen you at the club before. Always a new girl..." Serena laughed as I grimaced.  
  
"Hey, I just dance with 'em....How about you?"  
  
Serena rolled her eyes "Boys are not my strong suit. I've just never really connected with one. ...Until now." We glanced at each other quickly. I took her hand in mine.   
  
"I just wanna say, Serena-" She turned and I paused, brushing a bit of hair from her eyes, "That I--"  
  
"Thomas!" I was rudely interrupted by what sounded like Peter's very distressed voice.  
  
I sighed heavily, and gave Serena an apolegetic look. She nodded and kissed me quickly.  
  
"What?" I turned around to face Peter. He had apparently been running, as he was out of breath.  
  
"It's Arvid. Emil and the others--they---" He panted heavily.  
  
"They what?"  
  
"They hit him."  
  
"That's it? So they roughed him up a bit, so what?"  
  
"They beat him. I mean REALLY beat him." Peter had never looked this upset. Hey, maybe I didn't really like Arvid that much. But one thing I know: Beating up some cripple is wrong.  
  
I shook my head. "Of course, Emil...where is Arvid now?"  
  
"At the hospital." Peter gave me the look that said "Come on, I have to see if he's okay. I can't wait any longer." I looked to see Serena standing by my side. She too looked upset.  
  
"Those damn HJ's..." She shook her head, looking furious, "Let's go see your friend. Now."  
  
Damn Emil. Whatever he had done, he'd get paid back in full. I'd make sure.  
  
***  
Geez, I'd never seen Peter so angry. The next day, I planned on beating the hell out of Emil--for Peter of course. Unfortunetly, he must have expected that--and was prepared...Honestly, this whole fight was stupid. Emil's a pretty decent guy. Yeah, I know Peter and Arivd and all them think he's a traitor, but hey, you have to do what you can for our Fuhrer right?  
  
...God, here I am recounting life before this whole godamn war and then the Nazi in me starts up again...  
***  
  
"You should see Emil," I sat down in Arvid's sofa, "His whole face is blown-up. He looks awful."  
  
"Yeah? Well, you don't look so good yourself." Otto reminded me, taking a long drag on his cigarette.  
  
Serena walked over and lowered herself into my lap. She examined my face. "Otto's right. God, that looks terrible..." Her fingertips lightly brushed my cheek. I took her hand and kissed it. She smiled and gently leaned closer to kiss my lips.  
  
"Aw, get a room!" Peter teased, throwing a pillow at my head. I hardly noticed. 


End file.
